So Wrong It's Right (NorIce)
by irl.aph.iceland
Summary: Loving your siblings - not that weird, is it? But what if you loved them in a different way? Emil had never thought he'd be gay, and definitely not for his older brother, Lukas. Rated M for smut and swearing. With side ships and storylines. (Irregular updates due to school)
1. Prologue

Prologue

"What is going on? Mathias? Lukas? Berwald, Tino!" Had his friends left him? Emil sighed. No way they'd ever do that to him.

"Lukas!" He tried once again. "Lukas, where are you?" He was sure they were here. They had to be.

"Mathias? I know you're here." Panic started to spread out over his body. No one replied.

"Tino? Seriously guys..." Emil looked around. Was that a mirror? What was a mirror doing here?

Carefully, somewhat hesitantly, but quickly, the teen walked to the mirror. He had a good look at himself. He looked different. The same, but... different. His eyes, his hair, his clothing. He stared at himself, but at someone entirely different. Who was he looking at? What the hell was going on?

He stared into his reflection's burning red eyes. He corrected himself in his mind. One of his eyes was covered with an eye patch. Was it even his reflection? It must be. Every move he made, the person in the mirror made too. Every single one. Even if he only twitched his finger.

His hair had turned more lilac, than its original platinum color. His violet eyes had turned red, his usual brown and white clothing were now red and black. This could not be him. He couldn't be looking at himself. This was not Emil Steilsson. No way. He backed away, looking at the clothing he was wearing himself. Red and black. Could he see his own hair? He picked up a strand near his eyes and looked at it. Lilac. Dammit!

"You look lost." Someone behind him said. Emil turned around, facing his older brother. But... no way that was actually...

His hair was darker. His eyes more purple, his clothing deep red, instead of the usual deep blue. And he was smiling. Lukas would never smile. There was a rare occasion, but at times like this, finding his younger brother lost in the woods, no way he'd be smiling. He also had a burn-mark on his face. How did that come there?

"I-uh... yes..." Emil mumbled, somewhat uncomfortable.

"Well, come! The others are waiting!" Lukas, or whoever it was, grabbed Emil's wrist and pulled him through the woods.

Soon after, the two reached a cabin. Emil frowned, looking at the wooden thing.

"Loki! Dammit! Where were you?" Whose voice was that?

"Sorry! Egil was lost!" Emil had lost total track of the conversation. Who were they talking about? Why did Lukas respond to Loki and who was he talking to? Where even were they?

"Well, get the fuck inside." Lukas, although Emil referred to him as Loki in his head already, pulled his younger brother inside.

"Hey!" Hold on, was that... Yep, Berwald.

"Hei!" Loki replied. Mathias sighed and focused on the pile of papers in front of him. Emil frowned a bit.

"Sit down, fuckers." Tino rolled his eyes. This did not help Emil out of his confusion.  
"Thurston..." Berwald sighed.

"Yes, what?" Tino, or Thurston, replied. Emil decided to act casually, however he was gonna do that, since what was casual for the Nordics, was completely weird here. Tino could never swear, Lukas never smiled, Mathias was supposed to be the loud and cheerful one, and not Berwald. Emil was sure they had went completely opposite on their personalities.

"Just sit down." Mathias mumbled. Loki and Berwald sat down immediately, it took Thurston a bit longer. Emil sat down with the guy that was supposed to be his older brother.

"So," Berwald looked at the papers on the table. "What's on today?" Emil stayed silent, afraid he'd say the wrong thing. He glanced at the papers situated in front of him.

"First things first." Loki said, his smile slightly faded. "Has everyone figured out what their 1p's are like?" 1p's?

"Mine's a lot like Markell." Berwald sighed. "And I think his is more like me." Mathias, or Markell, apparently, just nodded.

"Mine's so silent. And his expression never changes." Loki sighed a bit.

"Mine's one happy ass fucker." Thurston mumbled. Emil supposed it was his turn to say something, but what the hell was he supposed to say? He had no idea what was going on, what they were talking about, and he didn't even know who he was talking to.  
"I-I don't know." He just decided to say, hoping it wouldn't get him murdered or anything.

"Have your information next time, okay?" Berwald smiled at him. Emil just nodded and read what was on the papers.

 _'Discuss 1p_

 _general problems_

 _personal problems_

 _break'_

Emil frowned. Why did it end after 'break'?

"Next up. General problems."  
Emil's eyes opened. He let out a sigh of relief, thank God, it was all just a dream... was it? His first intention was to go see his older brother.

The door of his bedroom flew open before he could even move.

"Are you okay?" Of course, Emil thought to himself, brother instinct.

"Y-yeah." Emil replied, and he ran a hand through his hair. "Just a dream." He sat up and moved backwards, leaning against the wall of his bedroom.  
"Tell me." Lukas sat down on his bed.

"It was very strange... I was lost in a forest... and no one was there." Emil started. "I... For some reason, there was a mirror." He frowned slightly. "So I decided to take a look, why was it there? And I noticed... I looked different. My hair color, my eyes, I had an eye patch. My clothing was red... then you appeared. Asked me if I was lost. You looked different too, the most important difference was that you were smiling." He saw a small frown form on Lukas's face. "A lot."

"Mm.."

"You took me to a cabin in the middle of nowhere." Emil explained what happened inside the cabin. After he had finished, he kind of stared at the older Norwegian, who was deep in thought.

"Their... 1p's?" Lukas looked confused. Emil nodded slightly.

"I... I think I'm gonna have to discuss this one with the others..." The others, in this case, were Arthur and Vladimir, Emil figured.

"Alright." Emil said. He sighed a bit.

"Now go back to sleep, it's ten past two." Lukas said. Oh God, sleep seemed so far away now.  
Emil smiled slightly and watched Lukas leave the room, before laying down and putting the blankets over himself.


	2. Chapter 1

"Alright." The blond Brit mumbled.  
"God, why this early?" The dark blond Romanian sighed. "I'm tired."  
"I am too. I didn't even sleep." Lukas replied.

"What? Why not?" Arthur asked. He seemed confused.

"Emil." Lukas sighed softly. "He had a dream. Not really a bad one, but it confused me."  
"Tell us." Vladimir bent forward, leaning his head on his hands. A soft 'ow' escaped his mouth as he did so, and no one could blame him. He had never been careful with his vampire-like teeth.

"Well, basically, he got lost in a forest and he was not in his own body. It looked very similar though. Different hair color, eye color, but the rest was similar." Lukas sighed a bit. "Then I found him. Pulled him with me to a wooden cabin. He said I looked different too. Said I was smiling." Arthur frowned.

"Smiling? That's impossible."  
"That's what I thought. Anyway, when we got there, someone started swearing at us. Tino."  
"Tino would never." Vladimir said.

"Exactly. He said that Mathias and Berwald basically switched personalities. We were talking about, and I quote this, our 1p's." Arthur misunderstood what Lukas had just said. He frowned slightly.

"One piece?"  
"1p." Vladimir rolled his eyes. "Switched personalities, you said?" The blond Norwegian nodded.

"I didn't sleep the rest of the night thinking about it."

"God..." Arthur sighed and rested his forehead in the palm of his hand.

"I think I heard a myth somewhere," Vladimir spoke up. Lukas and Arthur looked at him. "Go ahead."  
"It was about so called 2p's. The myth went something like this." Lukas and Arthur listened closely.

"Somewhere across the universe, another world is said to exist, similar to this one. They have the same logic, the same systems, but there's one difference. The countries are said to have completely opposite personalities from us. Most of them are murderous, too. These countries, who call themselves the 2p's, are waiting for a chance to take over our world. Some look nice on first sight. Don't trust any of them."  
"Could that be what Ice's dream was about?" Lukas asked. Vladimir shrugged. "It could have been."

"It seems like the most logical explanation, doesn't it?" Arthur asked. "There's nothing else I can think of either."  
"Before we take conclusions, it might be better to do some research on these 2p's." Lukas said, frowning slightly.

"Have you got your laptop anywhere?" Arthur looked at Lukas, who walked to the dinner table and grabbed his laptop. He opened Google and looked for '2p countries'.

 _The myth of the 2p countries states that, in an alternate universe, a world similar to ours exists. So similar, actually, that it is almost like it's the same. Only the country stereotypes have completely opposite personalities. Some are homicidal, while others are not. They call countries in this world 1p's, which is where our name for them came from._

 _These 2p, or second player countries, are very fond of power throughout all universes. Therefor they are planning on taking over our world, but there is only one portal from their universe to ours, which only opens once every thousand years. The last time it opened was 700 years ago._

"That's why I couldn't be at the meeting back then." Vladimir explained. "The portal is literally located inside my house. Not in the country, just literally in my house. My kitchen, to be exact. I had to make sure nothing happened."

"Makes sense. Why didn't you tell us though?" Arthur asked.

"Because it sounds stupid. 'I had to stop evil versions of us from entering this world and taking over'."

"I would've done the same." Lukas replied. "But what happened seven centuries ago doesn't matter now."

"Right." Arthur looked on Lukas's screen again.

 _There are only three people left on planet Earth who can stop these 2p's from taking over. Exactly who, is unknown._ The three guys looked at each other. "You've got to be kidding me." Arthur mumbled.

"I hope they are not." Vladimir said. "I thought I was the only one."  
"Well, then I hope my thoughts are right. If someone has to do this, they better have some sort of relationship." Arthur mumbled.

"And some kind of defense." Lukas added.

 _How to fight the 2p's-_

"Mh."

 _The 2p's are hard to fight. Only magic can stop them, and not any magic can. Most of the ways that can, are unknown to most wizards. There are 10 ways total, which are all in ancient spell books. These books are nowhere to be found and if you find them, there is only one way to read them, which is if you're chosen to._

 _More is not known about the 2p's and how to fight them._

"Vital information just on the damned Internet! How dare they?!" Arthur exclaimed.

"Sh." Vladimir said. "It helped us. Copy-paste the text and delete the article on how to fight them." Lukas did what he was told, knowing it'd be for the best of the three of them, and most likely the major part of humanity on Earth.

–

–

"Well? Did you find anything?" Emil asked his older brother.

"Good morning to you too." Lukas mumbled. Emil rolled his eyes.

"Good morning. Did you find anything?" He sighed.

"I think we did." Lukas said.

"Tell me everything." Emil replied. After a glare from his older brother, he added a "Please."

"Alright." Lukas said. "I'll keep it short. There's an alternate universe with people that call us their 1p's, so what they were talking about in your dream. These people, who we call 2p, have personalities opposite from ours, explaining their personalities and why they looked so much like us."  
"And you're saying..."  
"Maybe it was a look into how they really function." Lukas ended his story.

"But- why me?" Emil asked. "Why this... whatever it was? Why today?"  
"There's no logical explanation for that, Emil. Maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was meant for you. I don't know."

"...right." Emil sighed softly as he passed the older Norwegian, and went down the stairs to the living room.

"Morning!" Mathias smiled brightly at him. Emil was relieved to see him, but would never admit that thought had crossed his mind for even a second. Ever. Even if it was to Lukas.

"Morning." He simply replied.

"Bit grouchy, ain't ya?" Mathias laughed.

"Like that's any different than usual."  
"Not really."

"Exactly." Emil sat down at the table and prepared himself breakfast, quickly followed by his older brother.

Breakfast went by silently and peacefully, or more quiet than was usual.

"Hey, aren't Fin and Sve coming over today?" Emil asked at some point. Lukas nodded.

"Ja."  
"Thought so." The Icelandic teen mumbled before continuing his breakfast.

Afterwards, all three guys went upstairs to change into their everyday clothing. It was, as Mathias liked to call it, a family tradition to stay over at one another's house for about two weeks, twice per year. This time, they stayed over at Lukas's house, fairly far in the north of Norway. Lukas was used to the chill, Emil was too, but still liked to wear sweaters, but for the Dane it was quite a bit harder, living much farther south.

Emil sighed as he stood in front of his closet. What he'd usually wear was in the laundry, so he was left to his sweaters and jeans. He ran his hand through the sweaters, all a fairly light color, but not ridiculously light. His favorite was a lilac one, that, as his best friend stated, "totally matches your eyes."

But he wouldn't dare to show himself wearing that to Mathias, so he went with a darker blue one instead.

How would Lukas like it?  
The thought rang through his head as he looked at the sweater.

" _Hey, Emil, I got you something for your birthday." Lukas smiled slightly._

" _Uh.. thanks.." Emil replied, taking the messily wrapped package from his brother. From the way it felt he could already tell what it was._

 _Feeling somewhat awkward, he unwrapped the package. A navy blue sweater. It was soft and fluffy on the inside, and he noticed white letters in the collar._

" _Hand made in Norway."_

Emil ran his fingers over the white letters in the collar and smiled. The sweater had barely been washed, but he had barely been wearing it. Pulling it over his head, he couldn't stop himself from stopping halfway through and rub the soft fabric over his cheek. God, it seemed like it could stay soft forever...

The bell rang.

Shit. Emil quickly pulled the sweater over his head and put on a pair of black jeans, changing his mind as he looked in the mirror. He took off the black jeans and put on light blue ones. As he ran downstairs, he was attempting to put on socks at the same time, and fell down the last two steps, yelling out some Icelandic curse words.

"God- Emil, are you okay?" The teen had landed, face down, on the wooden floor. He waved away the older Finn's help and got up by himself.

"I'm fine." He pulled his sweater straight and whimpered softly as he touched his left eyebrow. A small scratch.

"Morning!" An enthusiast boy smiled at him. He just reached his teenage years.

"Morning, Peter." Emil replied, smiling. The two were friends, sort of, despite their four years of physical age difference. Mentally there was barely a difference, although the younger Brit was more talkative and acted more his 'age'.

From the Swedish Berwald, he received simply a nod. Was to be expected. Emil replied with a nod as well, smiling slightly.

The six of them sat down in the living room. The two teens relaxed slightly, as well as Mathias.

"What are we going to do?" Tino asked.

"I went to a pretty cool movie with Tim recently." Mathias said. "We could go see that one?"  
"Age rating?" Tino asked immediately.

"12+." Mathias replied. "I would never have even thought about suggesting it if it was higher."

"What's it about?" Peter asked after Tino smiled slightly and nodded.

"It starts off with a young boy in the waiting room of the hospital." Mathias explained. "His mom has cancer and is close to death. After she dies, there's a cut to about thirty years later, and the boy, who grew up, finds a mysterious stone. He tries to sell it, but it doesn't work, and ends up in jail after creating chaos with a raccoon and his pet tree, and a green lady. They have to escape some way and make sure the stone does not get in the wrong hands."

"Sounds good." Emil said, sitting up straight. "Let's do it."


	3. Chapter 2

The way to the movie theater was silent, except for the exact explaining of Mathias to Tino what the movie was about. Emil had plugged in headphones, listening to Three Days Grace. Berwald stayed silent, as usual, and Lukas just stared out the window of the car, daydreaming.

" _Haha, gotcha!" Mathias laughed as he lifted the young boy. Lukas sat aside, watching and smiling slightly, as his best friend played with his younger brother._

" _Big brother!" The six-year-old ran over to the Norwegian, trying to tackle him. Lukas faked falling over, watching as Emil crawled onto him._

" _Hey- Emil!" Lukas laughed. Around this child, it was impossible to hold your laughter._

Lukas smiled slightly at the memory. It was so long ago since he'd seen his little brother have fun like that. How much he'd give to see it again...

"Lukas, we're here." Mathias softly shook his shoulder.

"Oh, right." Lukas sighed, and got out of the car.

"Dude, you were pretty much drowning in thoughts. What were you thinking of?"  
"The past." Lukas replied. "That's all I'll say."  
"Damn." Mathias sighed.

Lukas watched as Emil took off his headphones when they entered the building, hanging them around his neck. The teen stuffed his phone in his pocket and sighed as he looked around.

Lukas suppressed his own thoughts, _stop thinking he's cute, idiot._ He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans as Tino payed the tickets and they walked to the theater. Never had the Norwegian remembered feeling this way, around anyone.

On their way to the theater, the five guys went to get themselves snacks. Popcorn for Emil, Peter, Tino and Mathias, Lukas got himself chocolate and Berwald got potato chips.

As they entered the theater, they sat in usual order. Emil-Lukas-Mathias-Berwald-Peter-Tino.

As the movie started, all of them sunk into the movie, getting pulled with the story, sucked into the universe of Guardians of the Galaxy. But not Lukas.

Lukas couldn't stop himself from staring at his younger brother, no matter how bad he wanted to. He noticed everything the younger Icelandic teen did, and was completely distracted from the world around him. Not a single word said in the movie was processed, not a single touch was felt. Everything around the teen went black and silent.

 _God dammit, Lukas! Get a hold of yourself- he's your brother!_

Emil had noticed how his older brother had been staring, but didn't care. If he wanted to, he could. He seriously didn't mind, and might've even felt a bit of joy when he noticed.

Soft sobs from the other side of the line told the teenager that Tino was having a small mental breakdown. Emil just laughed about the sentence _**'You said it yourself, bitch. We're the guardians of the Galaxy.'**_ , Berwald and Peter were half paying attention to the movie, half trying to sooth the Finn, and Mathias was still as sucked into the story as he was before. Lukas's position hadn't changed. At all.

About ten minutes later, the lights went back on, and Lukas could finally get his mind and eyes set on something else.

Okay, just his eyes.

The Norwegian could literally beat himself up. What the hell was going on inside his mind? Even though he was more confused than ever before, he still tried to keep his usual, straight, emotionless face.

"That was a great movie!" Peter said enthusiastically. Mathias laughed.

"I told ya so, didn't I?"  
"Well, it was certainly exiting." Tino chuckled, his eyes still red.

"Definitely." Emil breathed out. "This was a good idea. Thanks, Dan."  
"You're welcome." Mathias smirked slightly and Lukas rolled his eyes. _This is one of those moments I would never want to think back to._

Soon enough, the six were on their way back home. Emil had his headphones plugged in again, Peter and Tino were talking about the movie, Mathias was talking to Berwald, who didn't seem to pay attention to the Dane's ranting, and Lukas was trying to listen along to his younger brother's music, as he had his volume just a bit too loud once again. Lukas knew he should say something about it, but he didn't. He couldn't.

 _God, you're nervous to tell him to put his goddamn volume down! How many times exactly have you told him that already? Why would you be nervous for that?_

"And, Lukas, what did you think of the movie?" Mathias turned around, now facing his friend.

 _I can't say I didn't pay attention... He'd forever bother me about it._

"It was good."

"Just good?" Mathias frowned.

"I liked it, okay?" Lukas sighed a bit.

"Uh... Okay." Mathias turned around, facing the front window again. Lukas stopped a sigh of relief, but thanked everyone he could think of for Mathias not asking more.

–

" _I hate everything about you! Why do I.. love you?"_ The words rang through Emil's head, as he enjoyed the raw voice of the singer in combination with the melody, guitars, bass and drums. He loved this music, heavy yet somewhere soft, raw yet a hint of smoothness. He simply didn't want to stop listening to it. Ever.

Tino was the only one that understood why he liked it. The others didn't say anything about it.

His eyes closed, locked away from the rest of the world, the teenager didn't notice how his brother was deep in thoughts, thinking of him.

 _God, he looks cute like that... No, Lukas, shut up! But it's true... Oh my God._

Arguing with himself, he again didn't notice they had arrived back at his house. This time it was the younger Finn getting him out of his daydream-like state.

"Nor, you keep getting distracted by something. What is it, buddy?" Mathias asked.

"Memories." Lukas answered. It wasn't a complete lie, and it was more like he was not telling something rather than lying about it.

"Mmkay." Mathias shrugged. It was probably none of his business anyway.

Lukas opened the door and sighed as he walked in. The other five followed. Mathias was the first to reach the couch and fell down, taking in the entire thing. Emil ignored the Dane and literally sat down on his thighs. Mathias didn't seem to mind and closed his eyes.

Berwald had sat down in a chair, Tino on his lap. The two were, according to pretty much literally the whole world, very cute together. Lukas was sort of... jealous.

Peter followed his friend's example and sat down on Mathias's chest. The older Dane still didn't seem to mind. Tino laughed at the sight.

Lukas sighed, not being able to sit anywhere anymore. He found a nice spot on the floor and nearly let himself fall down.

"So, what are we gonna do?" Mathias asked.

"Let's play a game." Emil suggested. Mathias tried to look at the Icelander but failed due to the younger nation on his chest.

"Dammit, Peter." He laughed. "What game?"

"Mm... Do you know The Game Of Things?" Peter asked.

"I do, but I don't have it here." Lukas replied, frowning slightly.

"That's okay! Do you have paper?" Lukas nodded and got up, getting a small stack of papers.

"Great!" Peter said. "I played this with my friends once. It's really easy. One person says, for example, things you shouldn't do at a theater. Everyone gets a piece of paper and writes something down. Than the papers are collected, the answers read aloud, and the others have to guess who had what answer. Every correct answer is one point for the person that guessed it, and the person whose answer it was, is out. The last person to remain gets three points." The others looked at each other for a second before nodding. Lukas went to get some pens and Tino decided it was time for a drink.

Mathias kinda talked to Peter, Emil and Berwald about pretty much everything he could come up with. If either one of them had to summarize it, he'd probably laugh (well, okay, Berwald probably wouldn't laugh) and say "Tim".

When the other two returned, the fun could begin.

One hour later, the teens were hyper because of too much sugar and Tino had gotten himself drunk already. Peter had tried to steal his 'uncle' his beer, unsuccessful.

"Nuh-uh, Peter. My beer."

Mathias was just being himself, which was not much better than the hyper teens and drunk Finn. Lukas and Berwald would regularly exchange a look.

The scene at the exact moment, one hour from when they started, Lukas trying to read the answers, Tino trying to down his second bottle of vodka, straight from the bottle, this time, Berwald tried to keep him down. Peter was chasing Emil for God knows what reason and Mathias was the only one trying to listen to Lukas.

"Ber... take some.." Tino slurred, trying to get the Swede to drink something of his vodka.

"Give me the bottle." Mathias had given up on the game, getting Lukas to do the same. Tino reached the bottle out to Mathias, nearly dropping it before Mathias grabbed it and downed a large gulp. Lukas facepalmed at the sight.

"This stuff is good." Mathias mumbled before downing another gulp. "You should really take some, Sverige." He reached the bottle to Berwald.

"Lukas!" Emil yelled. _Get yourself together, Lukas._

"God, keep it down!" The Icelander was right next to the older Norwegian and pretty much shouting in his ear.

"Sorry. Do you have any liquorice?"  
"I should have. Wait a second." Lukas got up and walked to the small storage room, leaning down against the wall. This happened every time.

He entered the storage room and took out a half full package of liquorice, and he had at least five others. It was fairly well-known that if you had Emil stay over, always make sure to have enough liquorice. Especially on nights like this one. Lukas went back to the living room, dropping the package in front of Emil.

"There you go."  
"Takk*!" Emil said and he started eating the liquorice, sitting down on the floor. He looked like a little kid that way.

Only when he was hyper, to Lukas's disappointment.

 ***Takk: Thanks**


	4. Chapter 3

"Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom." Emil's constant nom'ing, in combination with the drunk arguing of Mathias and Berwald, Tino's endless slurred ranting and the never-ending jumping around of Peter drove Lukas crazy. He could listen to Emil's voice all day, that was not the problem. Just the sounds around it.

 _Calm down, Lukas. They're drunk and hyper._

"Nom. Nom. Lukas, you want some?" Emil held his third pack of liquorice out to the older Norwegian.

"No, you have it." Lukas said, before Emil continued nom'ing.

"I mean, how can one not like sweets? I don't understand that. Never have. Sweets are the best things in the world. It's impossible to dislike them. If you dislike a certain kind of sweets, fine! But sweets in general..." Lukas got the point. Tino was way too fond of sweets.

"Axes are amazing, Ber! When will you learn?"  
"Axes. Suck."  
"Ah- come on! Why?" Berwald was still silent when drunk, but already a lot more talkative and emotional. He would never scream though. Mathias, however, was a loud and fairly angry drunk. Always looking for something to get mad about, even picking a good fight every now and then.

Lukas knew exactly what he was like when he was drunk, therefore carefully avoiding drinking a lot. He would silently sit in his room and cry, and when someone asked him why, he would spill every single one of his secrets. Every. Single. One. Of course, the occasional shot of whatever or the glass of wine during a fancy dinner would not stay behind, but he'd never get drunk again after that night.

 _Softly sobbing on his bed, Lukas was thinking about everything that's wrong with the world._

" _Bro? Are you okay?" A still sober, yet nearly drunk Mathias asked him._

" _Mmhm." Lukas mumbled, looking away from the Dane._

" _No you're not. What's wrong, Luuk?" Lukas looked up and started ranting about God knows what. Idea after idea, secret after secret went out._

Mathias had been teasing him for five years afterwards. The morning after was when Lukas decided that drinking was not his thing.

A squeak escaped the Norwegian's mouth as his younger brother stuffed a piece of liquorice in his mouth. Lukas glared at Emil, who was laughing.

"Come on, this is really good! Where did you get this stuff?"  
"Netherlands." Lukas replied. "Mathias recommended it."

"This is wonderful!" Emil stuffed more liquorice in his mouth. Then he glared at Tino, who's slurred ranting hadn't stopped, and Berwald and Mathias, who were still arguing about whether it was better to be good at hand-to-hand combat or things like sword-fighting. He sighed, God, could it not be normal with these guys for once?

"Oh." The Norwegian next to him said, looking up. "I honestly can't leave now."

"But it's an emergency!" The figure next to him said. Emil recognized her as if they'd known each other forever.

Arthur's fairy.

"Sorry! I know it is and I want to come but I can't leave this mess."  
"...fine then." The fairy flew away and Lukas sighed softly.

Emil got up and found another bottle of soda. How quick he had emptied it, was not realized by anyone.

Soon enough, another one went down. Emil laughed at everything and was just endlessly poking Tino, who wasn't ticklish anyway and just continued his drunken ranting.

Soon enough the teen realized something and stopped poking the Finn. He got up straight and poked Berwald in his side just a single time. The Swede, who was a lot more ticklish than his boyfriend, flinched slightly as he tried not to smile.

Emil poked him again. And again. Soon enough, Mathias joined. And as soon as Peter and Tino saw what was going on, Peter joined as well, and Tino was generally failing to get up. Within ten minutes, Berwald had a laughing fit. Emil took out his phone, filming it. It was rare to see him laughing. Not like he wasn't ticklish when he was sober, but as soon as he even suspected you would tickle him, he'd leave the room. Unless, it was either his son, brother or boyfriend. Not like his brother ever even visited. Peter never met his adoptive uncle so far.

Emil was smirking slightly as he sent the video to his best friend, even though the guy was probably asleep. Emil doubted that. He pulled all-nighter after all-nighter, literally sleeping properly once a month. He had even picked a day for that. Every first Sunday of the month.

Emil laughed as he immediately got a reply.

'Oh my God, that's hilarious! Pfft- I'm holding my laughter for the neighbours!'

Emil put his phone back in his pocket, and drank more of the coke in the kitchen, before going back and eating more of his liquorice.

"Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom."

Lukas kept staring at his younger brother. _His voice... oh God, the way he chews is perfect. Dammit, Lukas!_ He forced himself to close his eyes.

"Ey, Luuk." Mathias asked, slurring slightly. Lukas opened his eyes and looked at his friend. "What do you think of axes?"  
"They were nice. Now they're replaced by more effective firearms."

"Told ya." Berwald said from behind Mathias.

"Fuck it!" Mathias yelled, and he stomped off to the kitchen. Emil laughed nearly as hard as Peter, Berwald was grinning and Tino wasn't really paying attention. Lukas just watched as Mathias walked away.

Barely five minutes passed before Mathias returned and continued his argument with Berwald, this time including Tino, about the right to call the Finn "wife", as he was obviously a guy. Somewhere through the argument, Peter joined in too. The two remaining guys listened. It was actually fairly amusing, to just hear them fight.

After a while, the swearing became too much for the young Icelander and he pulled his brother with him to the hallway.

"Emil- what are you doing?"  
"I wanted to talk to you but I can't because of the arguing! They're way too loud. What are they even arguing about, anyway? Tino said he doesn't mind, didn't he? If Tino doesn't mind, then what in heavens is the argument about?" Emil started ranting. Probably because of the overdose on sugar, Lukas figured soon enough.

"About heavens, do you still believe in the Norse gods? I entirely stopped believing in anything, myself. We never seen them for real, no one has proof they exist, what is there to believe in? A thought, an image? Images are pretty, though. Especially those of mythology. I think I love the Greek mythology, it's really interesting. The Roman mythology is cool, too. Not like the Norse isn't, I just think I heard too much. I hate hearing stories too much. The one of the wars between Dan and Sve too. Dan kept telling it day after day and I got so tired of it! Now all I remember is you and Netherlands didn't give a shit. You barely bothered helping Dan, while Ned just sided with whoever paid him enough." The rant went on and on, jumping from subject to subject, and not once did Lukas interrupt. He didn't want to. If he had wanted to, he'd have found a way.

"And languages. God- I'm glad Danish and Norwegian are so much alike! Yet they're quite different from Icelandic. That's an issue. But aren't languages hard anyway? It doesn't matter how much they're alike, they will always be differences, am I right?"  
"I can give enough reasons why Estonia can't join the Nordics. He doesn't even have same sex marriage legalized! That's a shame. Well, he does do civil unions. That's a lot like marriage. And Finland doesn't officially have it legalized either, but the papers are signed. The law just still has to take effect."

"Why do so many movie or book reviews have spoilers? That ruins everything, doesn't it? I want to know if a movie is good or not, not how it ends! The good always wins anyway."

Lukas zoned out, thinking back at a fairly recent moment in history.

" _Mathias! You've got to be kidding me, GERMANY? You're telling me you couldn't even handle Ludwig? That's it, I'm leaving." Emil ran out the house of the Dane without a single thought, running straight to the nearest harbor. He was going home. No way he'd be under control of that stupid Danish idiot any longer. Not after this. He was neutral anyway, so what's the worst that could happen?_

Never mind that. _He thought to himself._ You know what happened to Netherlands. He was neutral too. _He sighed as his boat left the harbor. Finally, he was at least close to freedom._

With a glance at his still ranting brother, now about why people would self-harm, because "What's it good for? You only ruin your body and it doesn't make your problems go away". He supported it, of course, it was their choice and their body, but he thought it would be better if no one did.

"And I have enough childhood scars. I have one on my knee from when I tripped while swimming. It wasn't deep, you know? I tripped over a stone falling on another with my left knee. I remember crying for nearly half an hour. That's how bad i-" Emil was cut off by his older brother's lips crashing into his.

Lukas didn't expect him to kiss back, to like it, opposite even, he expected the teen to push the older nation off and yell at him how wrong it was, simply because they are brothers. That's exactly what Emil didn't do. He was surprised and didn't return the kiss at first, but didn't yell, scream, pick a fight. As Emil kissed back, Lukas felt himself get red, and took his brother's hand.

Soon, Emil pulled back. He was red as well, pulled his hand out of Lukas's and ran away, without even a single look over his shoulder. He slammed the door of his room shut behind him, falling down on his bed, tears in his eyes.

 _He just wanted me to shut up, didn't he? And he felt bad about interrupting me._ Emil's mood was ruined immediately. _No way that was meant to be an actual confession... We're brothers... why would he even like me in that way? Of course he loves me... but not in that way. Never in that way._ The teenager buried his face in his pillow and started crying.

"Emil? Emil, I'm sorry..." Lukas was desperately trying to get him out, knocking on the door, talking to him about how he felt sorry, he should never have done that, he knew it was wrong. Emil didn't believe a word. He wasn't sorry because he "should have known you'd think it was wrong". He was sorry because he hurt his brother's feelings by letting him think they had a chance.

Emil lay there, crying until he fell asleep. Lukas had sat down against the door, silently crying himself to sleep as well.

The next morning, Berwald was the first to wake up. He carried the Norwegian to his room and then went downstairs, waiting for the others to wake up.


	5. Chapter 4

Emil woke up early, for what was usual. He looked in the small mirror in his room and saw his eyes were still red from the night before. He let out a soft grunt as he went to the bathroom and tried to get rid of the redness.

Lukas woke up from the sound of Emil's door opening. His eyes were red as well, dried tear stains still on his face. He didn't dare get up. He didn't want to, he didn't have the guts to, and he didn't have the usual emotionless expression on his face. He'd only be looking sad all day, because he ruined his chance with the guy he was so madly in love with, after he finally accepted that fact.

Emil looked in the mirror. He knew he'd give everything to the older Norwegian, his secrets, his feelings, his body, his innocence, but his brother didn't want any of it. He knew Lukas thought of him as nothing more than a brother, a younger sibling. Not as something to give more than brotherly love.

 _He probably likes Denmark more anyway._

Without even realizing, Emil had brought himself close to crying once again. He sighed and decided it would be best to just take a long shower and try to calm himself down.

Lukas heard how the water from the shower started running. He sighed softly, getting up and looking in the mirror. He was obviously sad, no, he was dying inside. It could be read off his facial expression. He couldn't say how much he hated himself.

 _Man up, Lukas... You should have known. Also, how many times have you failed something? You never hated yourself over failing something, why would you know?_

Lukas hit himself in the face. It always seemed to work when he was younger, and this time again. He sighed deeply before going downstairs.

"Morning, Berwald." He mumbled as he walked in the living room. The Swede was the only one there.

"Mornin'." Berwald replied. He was reading, like usual when he woke up. Lukas knew he probably had a hangover, too.

Lukas's usual morning grumpiness had evaporated overnight. On other mornings, he'd be grumpy until he had his coffee. But not today.

He did go to the kitchen to make himself coffee, but mostly to not let anyone know the change.

And coffee seemed to have the ability to calm him down, somehow.

When he came back, he made sure he had already finished half the cup. He heard Mathias come in somewhere during the process of making the coffee.

As he came in, he glanced at Mathias, mumbling a greeting.

"Good morning!" Mathias replied enthusiastically before cringing. "Dammit. Hangover."  
"You could've expected that." Lukas replied. Mathias knew that, which he confirmed with a nod.

When the Norwegian had finished his coffee, he went upstairs and listened in to Emil for a while, who was humming to himself in the shower. He enjoyed listening to the singing of the younger guy, and what he was doing now, wasn't exactly rare either. Emil had a great singing voice, in his opinion. Emil didn't think the same.

About five minutes later, Lukas went to his own room and changed into his everyday sailor outfit. They weren't going anywhere today anyway.

In the shower, Emil was happy he hadn't ran into Lukas yet. Well, happy was the wrong word. He was glad, because that was the reason a lot of morning fighting was avoided. Usually they wouldn't fight, but Emil couldn't bare looking at Lukas's face. Lukas would wonder what was wrong, and most possibly get pissed because of it. Especially if he just woke up.

 _You need to stay as far away from him as possible,_ Emil thought to himself. He knew that, being near his older brother, would only get him to cry. He didn't want to cry in front of the Norwegian.

"Aisurando ga notte iru... Kankou gaido motto fuyashite..." Emil sang softly to himself. He smiled slightly at the memory of the song. It was his song. Although his puffin did a good job in taking over.

Soon enough, Emil realized he'd been showering for way too long. He let out a soft sigh and turned the water off, and got out of the shower to dry himself.

Towel tightly against his waist, he hurried to his own room. It was the one opposite Mathias's, next to the one claimed by Lukas. The one on the other side next to him was Peter's, opposed to the room that Berwald and Tino shared. Tino used to have the room opposite Lukas, which was now left for if Tomas, Berwald's younger brother, came to visit, for literally the first time in forever.

Emil sighed as he looked in his closet, doubting between two of his sweaters. A mint green one, which he got from an old friend, or a blue-greenish one he had bought himself. After five minutes, he went for the mint green one, with a pair of black jeans. He laughed as he realized a flower crown would finish the outfit, but he didn't take one.

Of course he had one. No, he had three. But hanging out with his friends would get you there.  
Emil looked around, finding his black sneakers. The only sneakers he had. He put them on and looked at himself in the mirror, satisfied.

He'd never really cared about his hair, but today he brushed it thoroughly. Usually he'd just get it to look a bit decent. When he finished, he glanced in the mirror again, satisfied, and happy.

He went downstairs, noticing Lukas wasn't there yet.

"Morning, Emil." Mathias said, focusing on his phone. Emil was going to ask how the hell the Dane knew it was him, but then realized how long they'd actually shared a house.

"Morning." Emil replied and he sat down. He didn't feel hungry or thirsty at all. As long as he didn't have to talk to Lukas, he'd go without anything to eat for a week, might that be necessary.

He wanted to talk to Lukas, that wasn't the problem.

He just wanted to avoid a painfully awkward conversation, or a fight, or both.

He sat down in an armchair he pretty much always sat in. He played with his sleeves for a bit, before Mathias broke the silence. Again.

"So, did you sleep well?" He laughed softly. Emil didn't understand why but shrugged it off.

"Not really." Emil sighed. It had been a restless night. He had slept long enough, it just didn't seem to have helped.

"Why not?" Mathias tilted his head slightly.

"I don't know." Emil mumbled. Obviously he did, he had a bad dream, maybe two. About the conflicts being even near his older brother would give.  
Mathias shrugged and continued his game, or whatever it was he was doing.

Not long after, Tino and Peter came downstairs as well. Tino frowned slightly when he saw Lukas wasn't in the room, but when Mathias told him the Norwegian was probably changing, Tino shrugged it off and sat down on Berwald's lap, like he usually did. Peter sat down on the floor.

A fairly awkward silence followed.

Sometimes the silence was broken by soft chatter coming from the Finn and Swede, but no one was willing to listen or able to hear what they were saying. For all they knew, the two could be discussing on how to take over the world.

About ten minutes later, Lukas finally came downstairs. Emil, desperately wanting to avoid him, got up and sighed, "I'm gonna make breakfast."

Lukas shrugged slightly. It was probably nothing serious.

Emil sighed in relief as he entered the kitchen.

Then he sighed again, realizing he had no idea what to make for breakfast.

He had a glance in the fridge, finding quite a large butter supply, a couple boxes with eggs, and a variation of fish. Tilting his head slightly, Emil looked for smoked salmon. There had to be some. If Lukas didn't have smoked salmon, Emil would personally make sure all his butter was replaced by it.

Thank God for Lukas he did have what Emil was looking for.

Emil took everything out; a nearly finished package of butter, two boxes with eggs, of which one was nearly finished too, and the salmon.

Emil had already decided what he was going to make. He only needed bread, and he knew exactly where that was. He opened a drawer, finding it filled with bread. Perfect.

He grabbed a pan, a knife and a spatula. Scrambled eggs with smoked salmon. He was used to making it for breakfast and it was for some reason always suggested by the others, when he asked what he should prepare for breakfast. He didn't understand it, though, to him it tasted just like how everyone else would make it.

The main difference was, Emil had the salmon baked with the eggs. The others always mixed it in afterwards. The way Emil made it, had the taste of the salmon get mixed in the egg, yet let the salmon keep its original taste.

Emil decided to let the mixture rest for a bit. He took six plates and put bread on each one of them. A small layer of butter, a bit of salmon aside, yes. Perfect.

Satisfied, Emil went back to the egg. Go through once more, add the last bit of salmon, let it rest for half a minute, put it on the bread. Good.

"Breakfast!" Emil yelled back to the living room. Peter was the first to storm in, followed by Mathias. Then a chuckling Tino walked in alongside Berwald, and last, Lukas. Emil had already prepared his own plate and passed Lukas to go to the living room, not saying a word and avoiding eye contact.

Lukas was confused, but didn't show. He just wondered why Emil acted like that- why did he ignore his brother? Was it because of what happened the previous night?  
If he wasn't a nation, Lukas would probably be able to kill himself.

Emil sat down and calmly ate his breakfast. He smiled as he thought about Lukas, and everything about him. Even the fact that he hurt him. It seemed like nothing, compared to every great feeling the Norwegian gave him.

But he still didn't want to risk getting hurt again.

When he finished his breakfast, Emil put his plate in the sink, and sighed.

This was most likely going to be a very long day, and especially if Lukas ended up trying to talk to Emil.

((A/N: Hey guys, it's Lila here! Since I've started school three weeks ago, updates will come really irregularly- I might update three times per week or once in the three weeks. But I really have a lot of homework. So yea, I'm sorry and I hope y'all understand ^~^. Love, me))


	6. Chapter 5

-TRIGGER WARNING—SELF HARM-

"Emil?" Ignore him. Ignore him.

"Emil, seriously."

"Emil, please..."  
"I'm sorry..."

"Emil, why are you doing this...?"

Lukas' voice died off, replaced by soft crying. Never had Emil heard his older brother cry, and the soft whimpers from the other side of the door hurt him.

But he couldn't open up. He couldn't go out to comfort his brother, he couldn't even talk to him. He couldn't talk to anyone at all.

The events that evening were painful, for the two brothers more than for anyone. A lot of screaming had been involved, breaking down, crying, and neither of them knew what to do.

"Emil! Why are you acting like this?!" Lukas had asked, and Emil had replied with a "None of your business."  
"It is my business, Emil, I'm your brother."  
"Yes, maybe you are. Does that make a difference of what is or is not your business?"  
"I just want to know if I can help!"

"You can't!" Emil turned around, facing Lukas. The teen was pissed. "Can't you see I don't want to talk to you right now?"  
"Why not, Emil?" Lukas stayed calm.

"Because you are the one that hurt me!" Emil cried out, tears now blurring his sight.

"How... is it because of yesterday?" Lukas replied.

"You should never have kissed me, Lukas. Especially not if you don't mean it." The first tears rolled down Emil's face.

"Emil..." Lukas sighed, reaching out to wipe the tear from his younger brother's face, but Emil slapped his arm away.

"Don't touch me." He muttered.

Lukas was shocked, confused, sad, nearly depressed, even. Emil thought he didn't mean what he did. Emil hated him, not because he thought it was wrong, but because Lukas had unintentionally hurt him.

"I did mean it, Emil..."  
"You didn't. Stop trying to spare my feelings. Leave me alone." Tears streamed down his face as Emil stomped to his room. Raging, crying, he wanted to feel something. He felt numb. He felt useless, he felt... nothing. Nothing at all.

Slowly, Emil got up from where he sat, against the door, probably back to back with his brother.

Never had Emil thought it would get this far. Year after year he had told himself to shut his mouth, deny his feelings and he'd be alright. He knew he should not let it get as far as this. But he did.

He took out the pencil sharpener he always brought and struggled getting the blade out.

When he succeeded, Lukas had figured he wasn't sitting against the door anymore and opened it.

"Emil! Cut that out!" Wrong word choice.

Lukas was there when Emil first tore his skin apart.

It happened right before his eyes and he could have stopped it.

Lukas took the blade from Emil and ran downstairs to get the first aid kit.

"Lukas? What happened?" Mathias asked.

"You don't want to know." Lukas hurried back upstairs and aided Emil.

"Never do that again... please." The older Norwegian whispered.

Emil didn't say a word. If he did, he had to promise. He couldn't promise to not do it again. "Emil, look at me. Don't ever do that again." Emil didn't move a muscle.

"Emil! Dammit..." Lukas felt the tears form in his eyes. What was happening? Why... did he get so emotional?

"I..." Emil whispered. "I can't promise... but I'll try my hardest..."

"Thank you..." Lukas whispered. "You're staying here until I'm sure it won't happen again."  
"Wha-" "Emil... Look, I know you don't want to, but I also know you wouldn't want anyone else to know." Lukas said. "And if I had a choice between not knowing what the heck you're doing and being able to protect you, I know what I want to do." Emil relaxed a bit.

"O-okay... thanks..." He whispered, before getting up and leaving the room.

Lukas still didn't feel at ease. Emil still thought he didn't mean to kiss him. It was still his fault Emil had cut himself. Purposefully. The tension between them was still not fixed.

Lukas got up and slowly walked to his own room, fell down on his bed and started crying.

He did everything wrong, didn't he?

There was a soft knock on his door. He recognized the pattern; it was Tino. Lukas didn't say a word, but Tino came in anyway, followed by Mathias, more worried than ever.

"Hey... Luuk... what happened?" Tino said softly. Lukas didn't reply and stayed turned away from the two other guys. The tears kept streaming down his face, the negative thoughts kept flowing through his head, as if there were a billion little voices trying to offend him.

 _You're a terrible brother. The world has never known a worse Viking than you. You're in this alone. No one's there to help._

"Lukas... I want you to know you can always talk to me when you need something." Mathias said softly. Lukas had never heard him talk this soft or serious, not even during the worst wars.

"Emil..." Lukas whispered. "I- he-... I can't explain..."

That was all he could say. All he could think of, all he could force out.

"Tell us when you're ready..." Tino said softly.

"We're always here, okay?" Mathias added, whispering.

"...thanks, guys..." Lukas whispered.

–

Emil looked at himself in the mirror. He was bleeding through the bandage. He hadn't cut that deep... had he?

He sighed softly. He should have never touched that blade in the first place; would have been better for everyone. He slowly took off the bandage, quickly pressing it back on after.

Okay, he had cut that deep.

Shit, how was he supposed to come up with an excuse for that? He couldn't say it was a dog or a cat, that didn't go that deep. He couldn't say he accidentally cut himself during cooking since he rarely cooked- and it was also too far up his arm for that.

He was mentally saying every curse-word he could come up with in every language he knew. He surprised himself by knowing one Japanese word, when did he learn that?

He turned on the shower. This was definitely going to hurt, and not a little either. He hesitantly put his arm under the running water, pulling it back right after. God, that hurt.

He sighed. _Get over it, Emil._ He put his arm back under the shower and bit his lip, hoping that'd help against pulling back his arm. He stood there for about half a minute before pulling back again, this time because someone opened the door.

Emil quickly pressed the bandage against his arm.

"Oh- hey, Svi." He mumbled. "Could you please get me a new bandage?"

The taller Swede nodded slightly before turning back and getting fresh bandages.

"Why?" Berwald asked when he returned. So he had figured it out already.

"I... I don't know, honestly. I guess I was too hurt emotionally to think properly." Emil replied, sighing.

"Emotionally hurt? What..." Berwald mumbled slightly.

"Basically, yesterday night, I was ranting to Lukas about God knows what..." Emil sighed. "And to get me to stop that, he kissed me. At first I thought he meant it, and I was happy, actually, but then common sense knocked into me. Why would he even like me? So I went to my room and I think I cried myself to sleep..." Berwald looked up from carefully bandaging Emil.  
"Lukas was against your door, sleep'ng."  
"He was? Mm." Emil tilted his head slightly. "Anyway, this morning I tried my best to avoid him, which is also why I spent the afternoon in my room... and then he wanted to talk to me." Emil closed his eyes. "Asked why I've been ignoring him, claimed to have the right to know because he's my brother... I didn't want to say anything but it just... I just did. I don't know why. I just did. I started yelling, actually." He had rarely talked this much before. Well, except for when he was really hyper. "And... I think I hurt both of us there. I sat in my room, against the door, he sat on the other side... and then I got up and... did it as he burst in the room." Emil sighed again. He felt a tear roll down his cheek and quickly wiped it away.

Berwald nodded slightly. Emil had to admit that the Swede was a good listener. Not that talkative, but listening was one of his strong points.

That was a good thing.

"...Don't tell Lukas what I just told you." Emil mumbled. Berwald shook his head, as if to say he wouldn't.

"Thanks."

Soon, Berwald finished bandaging Emil's arm. _That took him long... but it's a lot better than what Lukas did._ Of course, Lukas had done it quickly, so it was sloppier than Berwald's detailed work. Also, Lukas's first intention was to try and cover up, instead of actually stopping the bleeding too.

Emil sighed softly. Again. He had seriously regret his choice, but there was no turning back now. Since he had done it himself, and since it was pretty deep, it would definitely leave a scar.

He should go apologize to Lukas, but again, he didn't want to talk to the older nation.

"Dad?" Someone called through the hallway. Berwald got up and opened the bathroom door.

"Oh, there you are!" Peter ran towards his 'father'. "Are we still going to do something soon?"  
"Probably." Berwald replied. Peter smiled brightly and ran off again.

"Over-enthusiastic little shit." Emil muttered under his breath, receiving a glare from Berwald. "Okay, sorry, he's not a little shit." Emil said. _He's a big shit, that's what he is._

Berwald sighed softly, knowing exactly what Emil was thinking. He decided to not make a fuss about it. He was too awkward to, anyway.

"Su-san?" Tino said, closing a door behind him. Berwald hadn't really moved from talking to his son, so Tino had quickly found him.

"Hey, Ice." Emil waved at Tino. "Eh... Ber, can I talk to you? In private?"

"Sure." Berwald replied, and he followed the shorter Finn.

Emil sighed softly. No matter what he did, he'd always end up alone anyway.

He had only one actual friend, though the Swede and Finn were quite reliable too. His friend, who he honestly always called Leon because his original name was too hard for him to remember (and he always got first and last name mixed up, too), lived with Arthur for a while, where they met at a meeting of the "Magic trio", as the three guys called themselves.

Emil smiled slightly as he remembered. Leon was caught up in his phone, Emil had to leave it at home... and while Emil was not paying attention, Leon bumped into him.

Emil thought it'd be best for him to call Leon now, it's been way too long since they talked properly.


	7. Chapter 6

It was a week after 'the incident', as they now referred to it. Lukas had agreed with inviting Leon over, so that's what Emil did.

Now, the two were, as usual, sitting in Emil's room, on his bed, with their phones, talking as they were doing /whatever/.

Lukas had barely left his room, and had also barely eaten anything. Mathias and Tino had been trying all they could to get him out, but didn't succeed. Emil had decided to bring him dinner every night three days ago, since he needed to eat too, despite not being able to die from hunger that soon.

The other five had been eating regularly, luckily. Emil had given Berwald permission to tell Tino everything, but only Tino, since Mathias would definitely spill it, whether he promised not to or not. He just wasn't good at keeping any kind of secret. He knew Berwald didn't want to tell Tino without Emil, too, so they'd do that together later on.

Leon had laid down on Emil's bed and was probably doing something on some weird ass site, or texting random people from all over the world, like he did more.

For the first time in the past month or so, Emil glanced at the calendar. June 27th. Leon's birthday was in four days. He sighed, crap, he had nothing for him. At all.

"Emil, Leon, it's dinner time, guys." Mathias said through the door. The behavior of the Dane, as well as Tino's, had really gotten Emil worried. The two usually cheerful guys had been too serious for both Emil's and Berwald's liking.

Emil grabbed Leon's phone. "Dinner." He sighed.

"Right, sorry." Leon said. Emil couldn't help but love his accent, and always tried his best to copy it when he was alone. It was English, since he'd spent most of his time there. There was, however, still a slight hint of a Chinese accent.

Leon followed Emil downstairs, where Tino handed Emil a plate. Emil carefully went back and followed the hallway to Lukas' room, and put the plate down.

"Dinner." He said through the door with a soft knock, before going back down.

Lukas looked up at the knock on the door, followed by his younger brother's voice. Right, dinner.

He slowly got up from his bed, where he'd been all day, or all week, actually, and opened the door to pick up the plate.

Emil heard the door open and close. He'd always wait for that to happen, and check if the food was really gone. He couldn't check on if Lukas had really eaten, but he had no garbage bin in his room, so if he hadn't, they would smell it after a while.

He went back downstairs and sighed softly. He wasn't hungry at all. He felt guilty, knowing it was his fault Lukas locked himself away from the world.

He had one last resort- Arthur and Vladimir. Even though it probably wouldn't help, he could always try.

Mathias sighed softly. "I'm going to leave tomorrow morning. For a week, probably."  
"What? Why?" Tino asked. He looked surprised.

"I need to get away from here for a while. This just... I don't want to be here for now. It's messing with me."

"I understand." Emil mumbled. "I'd leave too, but... I promised Lukas I'd stay here." If he was completely honest, he didn't want to leave either. Not with Lukas in this state. And part of him did want to leave, seen what Lukas did to him, but he just couldn't convince himself to.

Berwald still seemed to be the only one that knew what Emil had done, and understood that it was probably Lukas' idea to make Emil stay.

Emil unconsciously poked his food. He really wasn't hungry for the slightest, and the feeling of guilt was gnawing at him. He felt tears in his eyes, but couldn't allow himself to cry.

"Emil, you have to eat something." Leon said softly.

"I know. I'm just not hungry." Emil sighed, still looking at his food, which was more like a blur now.

"Emil? You alright?" Mathias looked at him. Emil blinked, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Tino asked, with a worried undertone in his voice.

"I'm sure. Thanks." Emil blinked once more, before taking a bite of his food. He felt Berwald staring at him but didn't react to it. He'd talk to him later on. Maybe, just maybe, he should tell Tino and Leon about what happened as well. Leon would probably be a good idea. He wasn't too sure about Tino though, he didn't want the Finn to cry. He hated to see the usually so happy man down.

"I'm... I'm going to start packing up." Mathias got up and walked upstairs, only having finished half his plate, leaving the five others at the dinner table.

"I wonder where he's going." Emil mumbled.

"Probably Tim's place..." Tino replied. Everyone knew how the Dane felt about the Dutch man. Except, or so it seemed, the Dane himself. Both Emil and Lukas knew he was just trying to keep everything hidden, because despite having gay marriage legalized, he didn't want the world to know he had feelings for a man, though legalizing gay marriage often was considered coming out of the closet.

"So," Peter put up the happiest tone he could. "Let's play a game after dinner!"

"That sounds like a good idea." Tino smiled lightly. "What game do you want to play?" Peter seemed to take a while to think about a reply. "I don't know. I just wanna play something." He said after a few moments.

"How about we do some karaoke?" Tino suggested. Emil shook his head – no, he did that with Lukas and Mathias often, and he's only break down at some point.

"Alright..." Tino tilted his head slightly. "How about we play a game of cards?"  
"What kind of game?" Emil asked.

"Oh! Uncle Mathias taught me a game, it is really nice and pretty easy! You have a set of cards, seven per person, and the other cards are just face-down on the table, except for one, which is facing upwards. Every person has to put a card on it until they're out of cards, but some cards have special abilities." Peter explained.

"I know that one." Leon said. "It's a nice game." Peter chuckled softly; the Chinese guy had lived with Arthur, of course he knew the game.

"Explain." Tino seemed interested.

"Okay, so with ace, the order turns around. Say we start at Emil and continue to Leon, then me, and so on, and dad puts an ace on the table. Then we go back to me, Leon, you get the point." Peter said. "With a two, the next player has to take two cards. We could give five a thing, but that one is incredibly hard – the next player has to put up a Queen, or take cards until he has one."  
"Let's not put that rule in then." Everyone agreed with Emil.

"There's two options for seven. The first one is that you, like, put up another card of the same color, or another seven, and, like, repeat the process if you pick the last. The other is that you can give all cards of the same color, so say you'd have, like, a seven of clubs, you can put up all clubs you have." Leon said. "With eight, the next player doesn't, like, get to play his turn, so say I put up an eight, and Emil like, has the next turn, he doesn't get to play a card."

"Fair enough." Tino said.

"And then the ten. There's three options for this one. One is, the coming player has to show his cards. The others are fairly similar to each other, you pass one, or all your cards on to the next player."

"Jack gives you permission to, like, switch colors of the game. Say hearts would bother the one with least cards, you change it to like, hearts."

"And last, the joker." For some reason, the young Brit's face lit up. "The next player has to take five cards."

"That sounds good, but... how do you know all this?" Emil asked  
"You would after living with Arthur for like, even a year." Leon replied, and Peter agreed. "He lectures endlessly...it's so boorriinnngg..." He whined.

"Sooo." Tino laughed softly. "Any general rules?"  
"Always put up the same color or number thingy as the previous card, when you have one card left, you gotta knock, otherwise you have to take five new cards, your last card can't be a special card, or depending on the game, a two, eight or joker, and obviously, the first to get rid of all his cards is the winner." Peter said rather quickly, but everyone had followed his words.

"Seems legit." Tino said. "Anyone know where to find a deck of cards?" Emil got up and pulled a package out of a closet.  
"There you go." He said.

"Great!" Tino took the cards from Emil and took them out of the carton and started shuffling them.

"I suppose this is good." The others had been watching him for the previous two minutes or so. The Finn looked up at the Icelander's voice. "Yea, you're right." He started handing out the papers, muttering something to himself. Emil just assumed he was counting the amount of cards everyone had in Finnish, since he heard clearly what Tino said, but could not understand the language.

"Seitsemän*." Tino laughed softly. "That's all."

"Great!" Peter picked up his cards as Tino put the pile of remaining cards in the middle of the table. Soon enough, they were playing a calm, relaxing, yet fun and sociable game of cards. Occasionally, an irritated growl, relieved sigh or victorious yell was heard, but neither of the guys upstairs noticed.

"Nor, you have to come out some time." Mathias said through the door to the Norwegian's bedroom. _Mathias may be an immature little shit,_ Lukas thought to himself, thinking of something else than the younger Icelander for the first time in ages, _but he sure knows when not to disturb._ But he didn't react. Not a word, not a noise, merely his eyelids shutting as he leaned his head back.

 _A letter. In an envelope. It looked serious. "Don't say a word, just take a look at this."_

" _Hm?" The Swede looked up, just like the others._

" _What's this letter?" Mathias asked. "Is it okay for us to read a letter adressed to you?"_

" _Whoa..." Tino said, fascinated. "It looks serious."_

" _Be quiet." Emil replied. "You'll see it when you read it." Mathias opened the envelope and took out the letter. "Let's see... 'Based on our investigation and excavation, it's been proven that you and Mr. Norway are brothers.' Hey! This is..."_

" _The results of the investigation on me that I was talking about the other day. I don't care, though..."_

 _Mathias suddenly started laughing. "So you two were brothers after all!"_

" _Whoa!" Tino smiled. "The results finally came out, huh?"_

" _I would've liked it if I were a descendant of some legendary mysterious natives who lived only in Iceland or something." Emil mumbled, seemingly disappointed._

" _But now you have a straight answer!" Tino said. "I'm happy for you! I wish I had someone I could share things with..."_

" _Any way you look at it," Mathias put down his beer. "You two are brothers."_

" _Shut up." Lukas sighed._

" _We don't even look like it!" Emil started to get annoyed._

" _You are both somehow scary, have weird friends, y'know..." Mathias grinned. Emil seemed interested with the wall and Lukas glared at the Dane._

" _Besides, we're all like brothers to start with. I'n your older brother and- AH!" Lukas had grabbed Mathias' tie and pulled it in such a way it choked the Danish man. Tino gasped but didn't try to do anything about it_

" _But if it's been on y'r mind all this time.." Berwald said through the sounds of Mathias choking. "Don't ya feel a l'ttle better now?" Both brothers now looked at Berwald, and soon enough, at each other. Emil looked down from Lukas' gaze, but the air between them was tense._

" _It's true... but..."  
"Big Brother." Lukas said._

When Mathias finally opened the door to Lukas' bedroom to take the plate he had used for dinner, the Norwegian was sound asleep. Mathias picked up the plate, as well as the ones of the nights before, and went downstairs.

"He's asleep." He said softly to the Icelandic teenager on the couch, who couldn't suppress a light smile. It was good to know that at least, his brother slept better than he did.

 ***Seitsemän: seven (Finnish)**

 _ **((A/N: Oh my God, it took me like half an hour to write Lukas' dream! Gah. Anyway, I used episode 49 of the World Series for that, as well as Wikipedia for the card game. So yea. Love y'all. Bye!))**_


	8. Chapter 7

"Guys, this is serious. Lukas hasn't gotten out of his room all week." Emil sighed. Behind his laptop, Leon next to him, he was talking to Arthur and Vladimir through Skype.

"And why would we be able to help if neither you, or Mathias are able to?" Arthur asked, frowning.

"I don't know, but we could always try." Emil argued.

"He's got a point there, Arth." Vladimir said, his eyes glancing away slightly from where he looked first.

"Fine then." Arthur replied. "By the way, Vlad, why do you only get serious when the entire thing is serious? I don't understand you."  
"This is not the time for those kind of conversations." Emil rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'll get on the next plane to Norway." Arthur said, directed to Emil.

"Thanks." Emil said, partially relieved, partially worried. If it didn't work, he had no option but to try again himself – and if there's anything he didn't want to do, it was try again himself, though if it was really necessary...

"I'll do the same." Vladimir promised.

"I'm going to be waiting for the both of you on the airport, if you'd be so kind to give me an approximate time of arrival."  
"I'll text you." The two other guys chorused. Vladimir began laughing at this, while Arthur rolled his eyes and ended the call. So did Emil, before he glanced over to Mathias, who was just saying goodbye to the three other guys that were downstairs. The Icelander put away his laptop and got up to say goodbye as well.

Mathias bear-hugged the teen and ruffled his hair like he always did when he left. Emil rolled his eyes but didn't stop him – Mathias was one of the only two people in the entire known universe that were allowed to hug him.

"I'm gonna miss ya, Ice." Mathias smiled, almost as enthusiast as he usually would. "I'm gonna miss all of you."

"I'll miss you too." He hated to admit it, but it was true.

"Good-bye guys!" Mathias waved and the others waved back. Then Mathias went out.

As he closed the door behind him, he let out a sigh. "Here goes nothing."

After a not-too-long period of flying which was mostly spent listening to music and playing games on his phone, Mathias arrived in the airport of Amsterdam. He smiled as he got up, put his phone in his pocket and took the plastic bag he'd carried with him with a few (now empty) bottles of water (since he was smart enough to realize it probably would not be a good idea to take beer on a plane) and his passport, which he didn't want to leave unauthorized.

"Nyeeh, Nor, even your singing sounds emotionless." Mathias muttered under his breath as he listened to the next song. This was probably his favorite – his friends all together as a family. He loved it that way.

As he got off the plane, he looked around, knowing what it looked like – yet curious, because God knows what happened in the two years he hadn't been there. Not a lot changed, though.

He sighed softly as he got his luggage and checked out. Two or three people waved at him and he waved back, even though he had no idea who they were.

As he looked around once more, he found himself considering to have a drink at Starbucks – but he changed his mind soon enough and went downstairs to the train station, bought the usual single chip card as he usually did (because why would he need a normal one? He was there every year, if he was lucky) and waited for the next train to arrive.

Soon enough, the train arrived and he checked in and tried to find a spot. It was busy, but there was enough place.

He laughed as he heard his own song – it's been long since he heard it. He softly hummed along and muttered the few Danish words and sentences under his breath.

When he _finally_ arrived in Apeldoorn, after more than an hour on the train and changing trains halfway there, Mathias had expected nothing less than what he was greeted with; an empty station with only people waiting for their train to arrive.

What he did not expect, however, was finding a certain Spaniard there, alongside a south Italian guy.

"Mathias?" Antonio tilted his head.

"Oh my God, don't talk to him." Lovino muttered under his breath.

"Hey guys!" Mathias waved enthusiastically. "What are you doing here?"

"Eh, I had to apologize to Laura." Antonio frowned slightly, as if he felt guilty. "Prepare for a lot of tears back there."

"Oh." Mathias frowned as well. "What happened?"  
"The tomato bastard kissed me and she saw it." Lovino rolled his eyes.

"Ow, that hurts." Mathias sighed.

"It was stupid of me, I should never have kissed him." Antonio sighed as well.

"Our train leaves in a second, asshole. Let's go." Lovino forcefully grabbed Antonio's wrist and pulled him into the train.

"Bye!" Mathias waved after them, before looking around. Next up, find a way to get to Tim's house. He knew there was a bus stop near, but where?

After searching for ten minutes or so, he finally found it, and was able to check in and take a fifteen minute drive to the forests outside of town. As he checked in, he quickly sent someone a text message.

As he got out of the bus, Mathias breathed in the fresh forest air. It had been too long since he had been here. He had always enjoyed the sound of the birds and the distant roaring of cars on the highway.

"Mathias?" A voice called in the distance. Too high-pitched to be Tim's, but certainly not Laura's either. Mathias had told one person he'd be coming, and had asked him to tell no one else.

"Jean?"  
"Where are you?"  
"Hold on, I'll walk towards the house now." Mathias took tight hold of his luggage and walked in the direction he knew Tim's house was. Soon enough, he ran into the young Luxembourger.

"Hey! What brings you here?" Jean asked.

"Trouble back in Norway." Mathias sighed. "I needed a break."

"Understandable. It's... kind of a mess back there though."  
"I heard that, yeah." Mathias smiled lightly.

"Really?" Jean tilted his head.

"I ran into Antonio and Lovino back at the train station." Mathias explained.

"Ah." Jean smiled lightly and looked at Mathias. "Come on. I'm sure Tim will be glad to see you."  
"I hope so." Mathias replied, laughing softly. The two blond guys walked down the forest path, to the not too large, yet definitely not small brick house in the middle of pretty much nowhere. Jean tried finding his key but gave up at some point. "Guess I forgot them then. TIM!" He screeched, making Mathias take a step back.

"What?" Tim swung the door open.

"I forgot my keys." Mathias had made sure to stand just out of Tim's sight.

"Why did you go outside anyways?"  
"I... had to pick someone up real quick." Jean replied.

"Oh God." Tim closed his eyes and breathed out. Jean quickly glanced at Mathias and beckoned him. Mathias took his chance and stepped forward, and was just in time before Tim opened his eyes, followed by a gasp and a hug.

"Hello to you too." Mathias laughed.

"I missed you, you know that?"  
"I'll just leave you two alone." Jean sneaked past his older brother, inside the house. Tim followed him with his gaze and rolled his eyes.

"I missed you too." Mathias continued their conversation, as if no one had interrupted them.

"Come here, ass." Tim pulled Mathias towards him and kissed him. Mathias was surprised at first, but kissed back. It finally hit him.  
After two years, he finally got to see his boyfriend again. Dear lord, he'd missed this. He'd missed being able to look him in his eyes. Being able to get lost in them, as if he got lost in a forest. He'd missed the touch of the hands that'd gotten rough over the years of farming and fighting.

He could list all the things he'd missed, but he decided to let it all go and let himself get captured in the moment.

After a while, Tim let go for air. "You have no idea how bad I needed this."  
"Well... I kinda needed it too. Low key." Mathias replied, smirking lightly.

"Low key?" Tim raised an eyebrow.

"Well, my best friend got depressed, so yeah, low key. I guess."  
"Norway? What happened?"

"Long story short, he has a crush on someone, I think, and they kissed but his crush doesn't believe he meant it and kinda flipped him off." Mathias sighed. "I was drunk when they kissed, I don't really know what happened at that moment."

"That sucks." Tim sighed.  
Then glass shattered on the floor.

"Oh lord." Tim said as he turned around and ran inside, followed by Mathias. Laura had thrown a pillow across the room against a glass vase. Jean had put his arms around her, telling her to try breathing properly. Laura took a deep breath in and a hesitant breath out.

"Like that, yes. Calm down, Lau."

"It's not that easy, Jean..." Laura said in between sobs.

"I understand, but you have to try." Jean soothed her. Tim sat down next to his younger sister and carefully kissed the back of her head, as she had started crying into Jean's chest. Mathias smiled lightly before walking off to pick up a broom, to get the glass out of the way.

"You don't need to do that." Tim looked at him.

"If I'm here, I better do something useful." Mathias smiled as he finished it off. There, it wasn't that hard.

"How about you two just go do something else? I think both of you need a break. I'll take care of Laura." Jean said.

"That sounds good." Mathias agreed. Tim nodded slightly, took Mathias' hand and pulled him away.

"So, what are we gonna do?" Mathias asked, looking at Tim.

"Let's go for a walk." Tim sighed.

"Sounds good." Mathias smiled widely. "Where?"  
"De Hoge Veluwe." Tim replied.

 **((A/N: De Hoge Veluwe, or Nationaal Park De Hoge Veluwe is a park in Gelderland, near Arnhem.))**


	9. Chapter 8

Tino had given Emil a ride to the airport, to pick up Vladimir and Arthur. At this moment, Emil was patiently, yet somewhat anxiously waiting for the two men to arrive. Vladimir should arrive fairly shortly after Arthur – only about fifteen minutes. If everything went according to schedule, Arthur should be here in about five minutes. But planes. Suck. Ass. They are never on time. Ever.

Emil had sat down near Caffé Ritazza, with a bag of licorice he'd brought and a cup of coffee.

Leon had told him to greet Arthur for him if he got the chance. If not, he could always still do it himself, giving Emil a choice. The Icelander had quickly made the decision he'd let Leon greet the Brit himself. He would tell Arthur he was over, though, so it wouldn't be a complete surprise.

As he was casually drinking his coffee, a girl hesitantly approached him.

"God morgen." She said shyly.

"God morgen." Emil replied. The rest of the conversation was in Norwegian too but author-chan is too lazy to translate.

"What's your name?" The girl asked.

"Emil." He replied

"Nice to meet you, Emil. I'm Sanna."

"Nice to meet you too." An awkward silence followed.

"So, Sanna, how old are you?"

"Fifteen. I turned fifteen a week ago."

"Oh, happy birthday then." Emil tried to smile but failed miserably. As he tilted his head, she looked slightly familiar. Beautiful, violet eyes, long, dark-blond hair, she seemed a little chubby, too. Strong but shy, Emil thought, his first impression of her.

"Thank you. Eh, this may seem rude asking, but what's your last name?"  
Not wanting to tell his real name, Emil took his brother's. "Bondevik."

"Norwegian?" Sanna laughed softly.

"Of course." Did she expect differently? "What's yours?"

"Räikkönen."

Sanna Räikkönen. A truly Scandinavian first name, Mathias had sometimes told Emil of a girl he once knew named Sanna. She was one of the bravest girls he'd ever heard of. Räikkönen was obviously Finnish, maybe Estonian, but there the options ended too.

"Finnish?" Emil frowned.

"Well, my father is Finnish. I never knew my mother, but dad told me she was Norwegian."

"A friend of mine is Finnish." Emil strangely enjoyed this conversation. He felt as if he was talking to Tino, strangely. Such a cheerful young woman...

"So, do you have a relationship?" Sanna asked, giggling.

"Not really," Emil sighed, "I mean, I do like someone... I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me back, though."

"He?"

"Yes, he. Why?"

"Oh, nothing." Sanna giggled. "You just don't seem like the stereotypical gay guy."

"What, did you expect rainbows and glitter?"

"No!" Sanna laughed. "But you always hear of those stereotypes, and they're always cheerful and judging on your clothing, you know? A close friend of my father is gay too. Doesn't fit the stereotypes either. Ah, you know, not every Swede is blond, or tall..." Emil chuckled a bit. That was generally true.

"Not every Dutch is addicted to drugs." He added to the list. Sanna laughed softly.

"Not every Brit loves tea, not every American loves fast food." Stereotype after stereotype was denied.

"Not every Romanian is a vampire." A voice said behind them after a while. "Is Arthur not here yet?"  
"Huh, Vlad. Hi. No, he isn't."

"Vladimir!" Sanna threw her arms around the strawberry-blond male.  
"Sanna? Geez, that's been awfully long! How have you been?"

"Good! How's Killian? And Eliza? Gilbert? Roderich?"

"Calm, girl. They're all good. Or as good as one can be, of course, when their nation is dissolved."

"Oh, yes, right." Sanna giggled.

"You know each other?" Emil asked, surprised. Vladimir opened his mouth to answer, but Sanna put a finger to his lips.

"He was friends with my parents, but I've only seen him twice after mom passed away." Vladimir seemed to understand where she was going, and shut his mouth and simply nodded.

"And she knows about..." Emil trailed off and looked at Vladimir meaningfully. He nodded again. "Absolutely."

"Mm."

"Anyway, Sanna, you better go back to your father." He ruffled her hair and she looked at him, with a frustrated expression on her face. He laughed and stuck out his tongue, before a muffled "fuck" came out because he'd closed his mouth just too early and bit his tongue, with his vampire-like fang literally piercing through the side of his tongue.

"Oh my God, Vladimir." Emil and Sanna sighed, chorusing. Emil knew that's what Lukas would've said.

"Well, I'll go back to my hotel..." Sanna walked away and turned around to wave. Both men waved back.

"The hell was she doing here?" Vladimir asked, tilting his head.

"I don't know, but why is Arthur not here?"

"I hope nothing bad happened."

"Jesus, Vlad, stop acting this mature. It's creeping the living shit outta me."

"I'm sorryyyyy. I'm just worried. I get like that when I'm worried." Vladimir laughed cheerfully and in a slightly childish manner.

"I figured." Emil sighed.

"So, how long has Lukas been in his room, locked away from the world?" Vladimir asked.

"I'd tell you, but I don't wanna tell twice. Licorice?" Emil offered Vladimir the pack. He took a little out of it and literally stuffed it all in his face. "Multumesc*!"

"You're welcome." Emil sighed. He'd taught himself greetings, goodbyes and thank you's in all languages he could possibly be associated with, so also Spanish, German, Dutch, Chinese, Japanese, French, African languages, Hungarian... The list went on and on. There might have been three or four languages he hadn't learned. Three of which he already knew.

The two talked for a while, waiting for Arthur to arrive. They talked about little nothings, favorite song, color, if you had to spend the night with anyone but your friends, who would it be, the little things that generally don't matter. Especially not when your country doesn't have an army.

"How can you not have an army?" Vladimir laughed when Emil brought it up. Said Icelander shrugged, "I don't know, we just don't have one."

"D-o-l-l-h-o-u-s-e..." A creepy voice sang behind Vladimir. He jumped up. "I-see-things-that-no-body-else-sees..."

"Arthur! Dammit, you scared me..." Vladimir pouted.

"Nobody else? I never thought of Lukas as a nobody. Or of myself. Or your brothers."  
"Ey, Wales doesn't see faeries." Arthur sighed.

"He only has eyes for that dragon of his." Vladimir added. "And you too?"

"Sadly, yes. Don't tell anyone else. Only you two and Lukas know of this which is more than originally planned."  
"Sadly?!" Arthur exclaimed, earning a glare from Emil, and a couple bystanders.

"Shh, Arthur! Not everyone has to like it, you know? It does get you weird looks."

"He has a point there." Emil agreed.

"Now, what the bloody hell happened? It's nothing like Lukas to lock himself away in his room."

"Alright..." Emil sighed. "It might sound a little weird, but..." He started explaining. Carefully, detailed, for as far as he could remember.  
"...and then, I pulled him with me, to the hallway. I ranted about a couple of things. By heart, it started about the fact that they were arguing about that Berwald called Tino his wife, Tino obviously clearly being a guy. I don't really remember what I said afterwards, but during something about self-harm... he..." Emil wasn't sure how to say it. Exactly like it was? No, that was too blunt. There weren't a lot of other ways to say it, though. None, to be exact.

"Yes?" Arthur asked curiously.

"He...?" Vladimir gestured for the teen to continue.

"He... he kissed me." Emil blurted out. Surprised at his own words, he clamped his hands in front of his mouth, eyes wide.

"Who else knows of this?" Arthur took Emil's wrists and slowly pulled his hands down.

"Only Leon and Berwald..." Emil replied hesitantly, tightly gripping the sleeves of his sweater. He had hoped no one saw it, but they did.

"Cold?" Vladimir asked.

"That can't be it." Arthur sighed. "Are you cold?" The Romanian shook his head. "Then why would he be?"  
"I don't know. Maybe he caught a cold?"

"Emil? Would you please roll up your sleeves?" Arthur asked. Vladimir frowned and Emil shook his head. "No, thank you."

"Why not?" Arthur asked.

"...at least not in public. Tino is waiting outside." Emil quickly walked away, a confused Romanian and worried Brit following him.

"What... why did you ask that?" Vladimir asked.

"I think he may have hurt himself intentionally." The two spoke soft enough for Emil not to hear them.

"As in self-harm?" Vladimir replied. Arthur nodded. "Damn." Arthur then roughly grabbed his wrist and pulled him along. They'd lost their speed and gained distance in between them and Emil.

"If it's not the case, though, I want you to shut the bloody hell up about anything I told you." Arthur warned the Romanian man in advance. Said Romanian nodded in agreement.

After a couple of minutes walking over the parking lot, the three guys reached the fairly large, blue car that belonged to Tino. Emil opened the door for Arthur and Vladimir before getting in the passenger seat himself.

"Social." Vladimir commented.

"Shut up." Emil replied. Tino laughed and greeted them before they started driving. Back to the middle of nowhere.

The trip was rather quiet. After ten minutes, Tino turned on the radio. He and Arthur sang along to Bring Me The Horizon for a while and Vladimir and Emil just looked at each other regularly. They had absolutely no idea what was happening to them.

"Let's hang the jury, you sick judgmental force, I'll bury you, six feet deep, I'm so tired of your rules." Emil softly hummed along – this was one of the only songs on Tino's playlist he knew.

"You don't know shit, you don't know shit about me, you don't know shit, shit, shit, don't know a goddamn thing about me!"

 _Keep looking down on me, I am more than you'll ever be, cut me deep, but I won't bleed..._

They were so going to kick him as soon as they found out how down he was.


	10. Chapter 9

Peter yawned and sat up from his uncomfortable position on the floor. Had he really fallen asleep? During the Pokemon marathon? He shook his head at himself.

"Peter?" He heard Tino ask.

"Yes, mum?" He sighed.

"Oh, you're awake." Tino smiled and he entered the room.  
"How long have I been asleep?" Peter asked.

"An hour, I think."

"On the floor?"

"Yes." Tino laughed a little. "C'mon, dad wanted to take us out somewhere."  
"Ooh, where?" Peter asked as he got up.

"I don't know. He said he wanted to keep it a surprise." Tino sighed. "I put your shoes in the hallway. Emil came home about fifteen minutes ago, but he's in his room with Vladimir and Arthur. Leon is there too."

"Why did I need to know that?"  
"So you won't worry." Peter agreed with Tino's statement and went to get his shoes.

"Will Uncle Lukas be okay, though?"  
"I hope so." Tino sighed. "He hasn't come out of his room yet, although, I caught him going to the toilet today, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"That was sexist."  
"Well, Lukas is a man. I could've said the same thing about women, but you get the point."

Peter laughed and nodded. "Yea, true." He went to the hallway and put on his shoes and jacket.

"And I don't want you to grow up that fast." Tino whined. "Can't you just stay my little boy forever?"  
"Mum! I'm not even fifty yet." Peter smiled. "Don't worry, I'm not leaving you anytime soon."

"Don't you dare leave anytime soon. Or else I'll cry."

"I won't, mum." Peter laughed as he finished tying up his shoelaces. He got up and hugged Tino tightly.

"I love you, mum."

"I love you too, Peter."

Behind Tino, the door closed.

"C'mon, we have t' go."  
"Okay dad!" Peter smiled widely and flung his jacket around his shoulders. Tino laughed and took Berwald's hand as they watched Peter hurrying to the car. "Come ooonnnnn." The young Brit whined.

"Calm down, Peter!" Tino laughed, but he pulled Berwald's hand a little as if to say he had to walk faster. The Swede quickened his pace a little and Tino smiled, picking up his pace as well.

They got in the car and Peter sighed. "I'm not going to sit here for five hours straight."

"Why would ya?" Berwald asked as he started the car. Peter shrugged. "I dunno. Just saying."

Tino chuckled and turned up the music. They'd always let Peter choose the music – otherwise it'd end up with either ABBA or Suicide Silence. Peter sang along to 5 Seconds Of Summer, Tino tapped along to the beat with his foot and Berwald was struggling to stop a small smile from taking over.

"How long's the drive?" Peter asked.

"About one hour." Berwald replied, earning a groan from Peter.

"But that's so loooong." He whined.

"Hey, Peter, I think you'll be meeting your step-sister." Tino smiled as he turned around. "Right?" Berwald nodded slightly.

"See?"  
"It's still long." Peter huffed.

"But it'll all be worth it." Tino smiled and ruffled Peter's hair slightly. Peter scoffed. "Stop that."  
"You still grow up too fast." Tino sighed and turned around, a sad look on his face.

"Mum, listen, I know you don't want me to grow up or to leave you, and trust me, I won't go anywhere anytime soon – I can't stay out there on my own, I need someone to protect me – but you can't stop it, and you know it too."  
Berwald stopped the car along the road and hugged the Finn.

"Mum? Oh God, I'm sorry." Peter unbuckled his seatbelt and joined the hug.

"It's okay." Tino sniffled. "I know. But I'll protect you from everyone that even tries to hurt you for as long as needed and longer." He wrapped one arm around Peter with a smile. "I promise."

"I love you. Both of you."  
"I love you too." Tino and Berwald chorused. Tino giggled and Berwald smiled slightly.

"Now, let's go." Tino smiled widely as he let go of Peter and Berwald and sat back. Peter sat on his seat and did his seatbelt as it should have been, and Berwald began driving again.

When they (finally) arrived at their destination, Peter was a little disappointed. It was nothing but forest. Tino laughed softly, "Good memories," he said.

"Let's go then." Berwald said. Tino took his hand quickly, and Peter took Tino's other. The Finn smiled and looked around him. He had always loved the forest, from when he was a young boy up until now. He could spend hours in a forest just taking pictures of everything, after which Mathias would laugh, "Sometimes, Tino, you're just like those Asians."

Tino didn't care. Most of the time, one of the others would tell the Dane off, too. Tino was just happy he could do what he really liked – walking around and save every little thing he found pretty. Shame he didn't take his camera to Norway in the first place...

After a short while of walking, Peter seemed to see something and ran off. (Reality was, it was all his idea, because he thought his parents needed some time together. And his father needed a laugh. He'd faked everything about not knowing. Lying little bastard.)

Tino laughed a little as he looked after the young Brit, holding onto Berwald's hand a little tighter.

"Jag älskar dig*." Berwald said softly.

"Minäkin rakastan sinua*." Tino replied and let his head rest on the Swede's arm.

Peter had stopped walking just behind a tree and smiled. Good, this was perfect. He quickly took out the phone he'd gotten for his birthday three years ago and sent his friends a text.

'Mission accomplished. I'll get back to our car right now.'

'Great, we'll meet you there.' He got a reply back. He smiled and ran back in the direction of the car.

When he got there, he was greeted by the familiar red hair of his older friend. As soon as he saw that, he stopped to write his parents a text.

'Dear mom and dad, don't worry about me. I'm hanging around with Wendy and Romeo. Lovino should be here soon to pick us up. I'll be at a hotel. I love you, have fun together.'

Tino sighed and looked at Berwald. "I don't trust Lovino driving."

"Neither do I, b't we should listen t' our son and have fun."

Tino smiled a little. "Come on then." He said as he pecked Berwald's lips softly (with difficulty, but that's a detail).

Berwald smiled a little. Tino knew that Berwald had less difficulty smiling around him, and also knew why – he felt comfortable around the Finn, and the only reason he didn't like to smile, or show any emotions at all, was because he was scared of people not liking him if he did. But he knew damned well Tino would never not love him, as he'd been told that over a billion times by the Finn himself.

"You should really smile more often," Tino whispered. "It looks nice."

Berwald couldn't help but blush a little and gently kissed Tino on his lips, one hand resting lightly on the Finn's cheek. Tino kissed back with a light smile on his face, placing one hand on Berwald's chest and let the other grab Berwald's other hand. They stood there, kissing, until Tino pulled back with a gasp.

Berwald didn't hesitate to lift the Finn off the ground and give him a little time to catch his breath before kissing him again, this time more passionate and with more love.

Tino kissed back again, with the same passion as the Swede. When they both pulled back for breath, Tino recognized the look in Berwald's eyes and shook his head. "Not now." He whispered. "We have a girl to meet, remember?"

"Right." Berwald almost seemed disappointed. Tino laughed. "Tonight." He whispered in the taller man's ear, before taking his hand and pulling him along. Berwald simply followed.

Tino enthusiastically pointed out all different kinds of trees, flowers and many more things.

"Look at that!" Tino then pointed out, fascinated. It was a light blue flower that reminded Berwald strongly of a tulip. Tulips, in mid-Norway?

Didn't matter anyway, it did look very pretty.

"If ya really w'nna take a picture, ya c'n use my ph'ne." Berwald offered, causing Tino's face to light up immediately. "Really?"

"Mmhm." Berwald took his phone out and handed it to Tino, who knew exactly how to unlock it (and what password to use, mainly) and how to open the camera. He knelt down in front of the flower and took a couple of pictures, smiling. He was satisfied with how they looked, nodded as he scrolled through them, and then switched the phone off and handed it back to Berwald with a smile. "Thank you, sweetheart."

"Anythin' for you." Berwald replied and kissed Tino's cheek lightly. Tino giggled softly.

After a few more minutes of walking, Berwald began scrolling through the list of songs on his phone. Tino curiously watched as the Swede selected the song they'd want to be played on their wedding, the song everyone thought was written especially for them. Tino smiled and held Berwald's hand as they walked through the forest, listening to the song endlessly.

 _'Cause you're the apple to my pie,_

 _you're the straw to my berry,_

 _You're the smoke to my high,_

 _and you're the one I wanna marry..._

Both of them would be lying if they said they didn't know the lyrics by heart. In fact, it's the song Berwald proposed to. Tino sang the song to him whenever he felt bad about anything ever since.

It was their song. No one else's.

 _We're the perfect two,_

 _We're the perfect two,_

 _Baby, me and you.._

 _We're the perfect two._

"Even after all these years," Tino whispered, "The bad times we had... You're still the one I wanna marry."

 ***Jag älskar dig: I love you (Swedish)**

 ***Minäkin rakastan sinua: I love you too (Finnish)**


	11. AN

Hi guys! It's Kay, the writer of this fic.

Due to a major writer's block on this fanfiction, I'm very sorry to say it'll be extremely long before I update again, and it's already been like, what, a year? I can't even promise I will update anymore.

I really enjoy writing this, though, so I'll try to continue.

Love, Kay


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